Please note that since writing this article, Pizza Pazzani has closed down

Last week, I started my roundup of the Westerpark’s latest foodie offerings with my review of “the good” (well, good-ish): Mossel & Gin. This week, it’s time to reveal “the bad”: Pizza Pazzani – a pizzeria adjacent to the North Sea Jazz Club, and the longest standing of the three restaurants in this series.

I’ve been to Pizza Pazzani three times now, and my experiences have got successively worse. The first time, the service was slow (but just regular, Amsterdam slow, not actively rude), the pizza was decent (I liked the combo of pastrami and horseradish) and the house wine drinkable.

pizza pazzani amsterdam

The second time, the pizzas were cold (and, if you stop and think about it for a second, this is not just unacceptable but genuinely hard to get your head around: remember how many times you’ve burned the roof of your mouth on pizzas, and then ask yourself how long they need to have been sitting on the pass for them to actually reach room temperature?). And one of the pizzas wasn’t even the one we ordered. When we complained (twice), the best we were offered was a free drink – but not just any free drink: it had to cost below €2.50. Seriously? The third time at Pazzani is best described by a role play:

Honey Badger, at the bar, which happens to be right next to where we’re sitting: “Can I order a drink please?”
Waitress 1: “No, you have to order at the bar next door or wait for someone at your table.”
Honey Badger, back at the table: “Can I order a drink please?”
Waitress 2: “Umm, ok, but you can also order at the bar – it’s right next to you!”
Honey Badger: “I realise that but your colleague told me I couldn’t order there, which is why I’m asking you here.”
Waitress 2 to Waitress 3: “Did you tell him he couldn’t order at the bar?”
Waitress 3: “No, why would I say that? Of course he can order at the bar!” [note for reader: pissed off voice is currently employed, implying that either he’s lying or he’s saying she’s lying]
Honey Badger: “But – but – but she told me I couldn’t! Ask your friend!” [points to waitress 1]
Waitresses 2 and 3 turn to Waitress 1: “Well?”
Waitress 1: “Actually I did tell him he couldn’t order here – I thought he came in from outside and should’ve been at the bar next door.”
Honey Badger: “But I’ve been sitting right here this whole time?!”
[No apology ensues]

Time passes, and the hard-fought and hard-won beers that we finally managed to order in the midst of the argument have now been drunk (we needed a drink after that little drama, as you can imagine)…

Honey Badger, at the same bar, half an hour later: “Can I order a drink please?”
Waitress 1: “No, you have to order at the bar next door or wait for someone at your table.”
Honey Badger, now losing all composure: “BUT WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION – LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!!!”

We vowed never to return.